Wintering

I’m back. March was a dumpster fire of a month for me, for several reasons. I want to call it water under the bridge, but water under the bridge tends to want to pull you against your will downriver, and I’ve been fighting that. I’m finally at a point where I feel ready to continue sharing here on a more regular basis.

What I’d like to share most of all is how I’ve managed to crawl out of the hole of nearly overwhelming sadness to a point where I’m feeling…ok. I’m not skipping around in a constant joyful state, but I have felt joy many times over the past few weeks and I feel in general fairly contented.

Music has had a big part in making me feel more normal. A few weeks ago, Chris suggested that we fill the house with music every Sunday morning. We take turns choosing the playlist. One week we watched Simon and Garfunkle’s Central Park concert, another Sunday was devoted to Seal (who we saw in concert in an outdoor venue several years ago and still marvel at how fantastic he was). Other choices were James Taylor and Carole King at the Troubador and Supertramp in Paris. Today we listened to Chris Rea. I’ve also re-added the Apple Music app, and have created a “morning walk” playlist that I listen to each morning when I’m walking in the neighborhood or at the gym. The playlist currently includes songs by Harry Nilsson, Lizzo, Harry Styles, HAIM, Cher, Taylor Swift, and Lorde – but I edit it on a daily basis.

As always, nature has helped me get to a happier place. With the warmer weather and longer days I’ve been enjoying more outdoor walks, especially in the morning. I’ve been out for some evening hikes and sunset watching. I’ve dusted off my camera and have started documenting the change in seasons (will share more photos with you soon). I’m excited that there have already been some hummingbird sightings in Ohio and I’ve put up the feeder so as not to miss the early arrivals.

I had been having a difficult time concentrating enough to read novels, but I read the book “Wintering” by Katherine May which I found helpful. In it May talks about how each of us have many metaphorical winters in our lives, and that a way through these winters is to slow down, take gentle care of ourselves, and listen carefully to what our body and psyche craves/needs during these times. In addition to music and nature, I’ve been working jigsaw puzzles pretty constantly. The puzzles fill those odd moments when I otherwise would be at a loss as to what to do with myself – those minutes when the work day is done but it’s not time to call my mother yet, or the work-from-home lunch hour after I’ve eaten my lunch and don’t want to get back online before my hour is up. Those odd moments tend to be when anxiety can rear its ugly head, and I’m thankful for busy hands and mind to get me through. I’ve also been very adherent to a healthy diet and plenty of exercise. I give myself a foot massage each morning and evening with special foot cream. I’ve become an oral hygiene zealot after lucking into an appointment with a gentle, kind, encouraging dental hygienist. I have no nagging feelings these days that I should be doing a better job of taking care of some aspect of my health and that removes so much negativity and anxiety from my plate.

I’m looking forward to sharing some more spring photos with you very soon. Thank you for being there, friends.

Love,

Michelle xoxo