I’ve been keeping up with my chalk messages, nearly every day. Rainy weather gives me a day off, as do the rare days that I sleep in. But I took today off even though it wasn’t rainy and I did get up early. I was kind of mad at people this morning. Over the last week or so, we’ve seen distressing things around the neighborhood. An outdoor 50th birthday party with many attendees. People having guests over for what I’m sure they describe as “socially distanced” get togethers, but there is very little distance discernible. People stopping to have chats with neighbors from a distance of much less than 6 feet. This morning as Chris and I were out on our morning walk, we saw a group of women running together with no social distancing at all. I find it disheartening. I worry that as soon as restrictions are lifted, people are going to go crazy and the infection numbers will soar again. I get angry that people seem to care so much about their “freedoms” and “liberties” but not so much about the well-being of their neighbors. And in the midst of feeling all this, I thought, “What’s the point?” What’s the point in writing uplifting messages to ease the discomfort of lockdown when people aren’t buying into the spirit of lockdown in the first place and probably find the messages annoying?
I debated whether I should reveal these feelings in this blog. My intention has been that this would be a place of positivity – to bring a “measure of calm” to a world that has so much in it that is not calm. To be an oasis in this crazy world and an antidote to the negativity and griping so often found in social media.
But as I reflect, I realize that positivity without an honest acknowledgement of the darker realities of life veers into a sort of saccharine Pollyanna-ism that really isn’t helpful to anyone. So, yes, I do get frustrated and angry at my fellow humans. I generally like to balance that out with an attempt to empathize, but sometimes I find that difficult if not impossible.
By 5:00 this evening I had completed a full workday in front of my computer. My resentments of the morning had simmered down and I was feeling fairly neutral about the world in general. Chris and I went on our second walk of the day (our second, his third). We passed by (on the opposite side of the street!) a lovely lady – I can’t remember her name but her dog is a feisty little white puffball named “Teddy.” And Teddy’s mom called over to me, “I love your chalk drawings! They make me happy!”
And my heart grew three sizes.
So, I guess I’ll be out there tomorrow morning. It’s National Coconut Cream Pie Day.
xoxo