I am a big fan of little books filled with many little essays describing things that bring joy or contentment. Ones already in my library are The Joy of Small Things by Hannah Jane Parkinson, Delight by J.B. Priestley, and Joy in the Little Things by Kerrie Hess. This summer I discovered a new addition to the genre, Things to Look Forward To by Sophie Blackall. I wrote here recently that I have a few trips I’m anticipating with great excitement, the first of which happens very soon. But there are some little things that I look forward to each and every day, so I thought I would share some of them here with you today:
Wordle – yes, I am one of the millions addicted to this little game. I love that you can only play it once a day and I love that a few people close to me also play it daily. “Have you played Wordle yet today?” is a common text between my friend Beth and I. Chris and I always use the same starter word (“adieu”) and so it’s fun to see the different paths we take each day after that first guess.
Worldle – Similar to Wordle in that you get six guesses. Different in just about every other way. Each day you are given an outline of a country or territory. With each guess that you make, you are given clues in the form of how many miles off you are and in which direction from your guess the correct country is. Beth and I also both do this one and are so pleased when we get the answer without the use of maps!
That first cup of coffee – On a work day I wait until I’m in the office to have that first cup and it is hilarious to me just how much I look forward to it. Such a lovely, lovely treat.
Having a moment to dip into whatever novel I’m reading – currently Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus (loving it!)
That moment at the end of the work day when I can change into “play clothes” and relax
I was thinking about the term “self care” this morning while I was on my Sunday hike. These days I walk at least 45 minutes every morning, and on Sunday morning my walk is a hike in one of the parks we are lucky to have nearby. I don’t always feel like putting my sneakers on each morning at 6 (later on the weekends), in fact about half the time I need to push back the “I don’t wanna” voice inside me. One hundred percent of the time, though, I feel wonderful during and after my walk. The “I don’t wanna” voice can also crop up at a restaurant when I have already decided earlier in the day that I would have the arugula salad with chicken but the people with me are getting pasta and meatballs, or when I am at the grocery store on a Friday after work and turn away with some effort from the margarita mixes.
I’m finding that, for me, self care is not so much the pampering of massages, mani/pedis, and bubble baths. Instead it is the hard work done every day to keep my mind and body as strong as they can be. It is clawing my way back from bad patterns and habits that never made me feel good (hello, pretzels and chocolate, I’m talking about you). Self care is telling my inner 5-year-old that a dish of chili pistachios will “ruin your dinner,” because the parent in me knows the child in me will not stop at that one “little dish” of nuts. Marcus Aurelius said, “The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.” I think in order to truly take care of ourselves we need that aspect of unflinching assessment of who we are and what we really need. I know that in order to feel mentally well, I need to feel physically strong. Sweets, junky food, alcohol, being sedentary – none of these things work for me in the long run. I will have the occasional (less than once a month on average) glass of wine or margarita, but honestly they make me feel like crap the next day – even one glass so that will most likely go by the wayside as well. I am truly a work in progress and always will be, but I feel like I’m on the right track whenever I address the physical aspect of my being.
I’m including my morning walk playlist just for fun. I have Apple Music and there are many curated playlists with titles like, “Sunday Brunch”, “Family Drive”, or “Yard Work”. I found a playlist called “Feeling Happy” that has 100 songs on it and whittled it down to 15 songs that energize me when I’m walking up that hill (apologies to Kate Bush) for the 10th time. I have to say that very few of these songs are ones that I would listen to when not exercising, but they do get me going.
I had my third infusion last week for my bones – three out of six, halfway there. I’ve started taking a Vitamin K2 supplement along with my daily calcium supplement (I try to get about half of my calcium from actual food though). I’m not a big fan of supplements in general because I think they tend to overdo it – why do I need 6000% of the daily recommended allowance of some nutrient? The key should be in the name: it’s supposed to supplement not supplant the nutrients we get in our food. Vitamin K2, however, isn’t in a wide variety of foods – it can be found in egg yolks, fermented foods, cheeses, and some other animal sources. The supplement I have started taking (Amazon link here) has 83% of the daily value for K2. I feel good about that.
Chris and I have been watching “Doc Martin” these days. Neither of us had seen it before, so we’re starting with season one and working our way through the 9 seasons out there. I quickly became addicted – I just love everything about it. We’re also watching “Murder in Suburbia” – we do like a nice, gentle murder mystery, and this fits the bill. This week we also started watching a fascinating multi-part documentary called “Light and Magic.” It follows George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic company from its earliest days – the first two episodes cover how a team of honestly brilliant artists and cameramen (no women, alas) figured out how to create the groundbreaking special effects for the first Star Wars movie. Now, I’m not a big Star Wars fan, but I do love watching stories of incredibly talented and creative people (whether they be artists or engineers or scientists) overcoming challenges. It’s so inspiring.
Hello there, friends. Tomorrow is August 1st. Children in Ohio go back to school in August and I’ve been told Halloween candy can now be found on grocery store shelves. Yikes! I don’t have much to say this week but wanted to post some hummingbird photos. My latest plan is to try to put a blog post up once a week whether I have much to say or not. So there! 🙂 I hope you have had a lovely weekend and have something fun planned for the coming week.
It’s baby deer time and oh my goodness they are so adorable. I took the top photo this morning, standing in my driveway looking across to my neighbor’s yard. And yes, that is the sidewalk running between the two fawns. They were just hanging out while their mother foraged in the garden, sometimes munching on a mouthful of grass. They did not seem afraid of me, but did jump up and dance around a bit when a car drove by.
We have an abundance of chipmunks this year. Some might say an overabundance – I’ve found that many people view them as pests! But gosh, they are just so cute! I love watching them. For several days we also had a skunk in our back yard in the evenings, the only wildlife around here that I am actually afraid of as I’ve never been skunk sprayed and I’d like to keep it that way.
I’ve been trying to add a layer of difficulty to my morning walks by doing repeats of a bridge that goes over some unused train tracks (I wish I could do repeats of the hills in my little park at the end of the street, but at 6am that’s not an option as the park is deserted at that time of day). The timing of my walks has been perfect to catch some gorgeous sunrises.
The hummingbirds continue to be very active, but I didn’t take many photos last week. I just didn’t have the time or patience to sit around waiting for them to show up. I know they’ll only be around for another 6 or 7 weeks, though, so I’ll make some time this week.
Sorry for the rather uninspired title of this post!
Here I am nearly a month after my last post. I would like to say that I’ll be posting more frequently. I really would. I do have several photos I took on a recent trip, so I can do a sort of “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” post next. I also have several ideas percolating in my brain for future posts (and some pretty gnarly photos of mushrooms I’ve taken lately – you know how I love mushrooms). So yes, I will post again soon!
This post, however, is dedicated to “my” hummingbirds. Photos from my feeder here in Ohio and from outside my sister’s window in Connecticut.
You may know that only the adult male Ruby Throated Hummingbirds have a red throat patch. The juvenile males’ throat feathers don’t turn red until after their first winter. The adult and juvenile females tend to have either plain white feathers on their throats or some light gray streaking, and the juvenile males have heavier streaking. Your guess is as good as mine as to whether the above are adult females or juveniles (I tend to think most of them are juvenile males). Also, the adult male’s throat patch can look black if the feathers don’t catch the sun. In most of my photos of adult male hummingbirds, they look kind of like dark blobs. Next year it will be my goal to get some better photos of adult males!
It will have to be next year, because I think our hummingbirds have begun their migration south. I haven’t seen any birds at the feeder for the last two days or so. There may be stragglers, but I’m sure most of them have gone.
Hello friends – I’m thrilled to report that we’ve seen our first hummingbirds this week! It’s amazing to think that these little birds are here after traveling all the way from Mexico or Central America or somewhere else equally incredibly far away. I’m so happy to have them back for another season, although it’s been so cold and rainy this week I feel like a terrible host! Today it actually snowed for a period of about an hour and a half.
In other wildlife news, it’s been confirmed that we have a whole fox family living in the neighborhood. Chris and I saw the kits (baby foxes) cavorting like a litter of puppies when we were out walking the other day. The den appears to be at the far end of a neighbor’s yard a couple of houses down, in a group of bushes along the property line. We heard the eerie sounds (a bit like 0:08 to 0:49 in this clip) they make the other day at about 4am. Unsettling, to say the least!
Today is Mother’s Day, and I hope you are having a pleasant day. I know that this is a difficult day for some people, for many different reasons. I’ve had a relaxing day, even napping for about two hours, and have spoken to Sam a couple of times. I made myself a special breakfast of French toast with lots of butter and real maple syrup. It was fabulous. Last week was surprisingly difficult for me. I told a friend that with Sam now graduated from college, I’ve had to trade all the worries I had for him during his school years for a whole new set of worries. Now I wish I had all those old worries back! Which makes me laugh at myself – we humans really are ridiculous sometimes (sometimes?).
I’m sorry I’ve been gone from these pages for the last two weeks. I lost my momentum, you see, and it’s so hard to gain momentum back once it’s been lost.
I love the video at the start of this post. I ran across it years ago when I was doing graduate work toward becoming a reading specialist. I had to create a learning module on environmentalism, found this video, and have been in love with it ever since. It just occurred to me right now that it fits perfectly with my post today on the Japanese concept of Ikigai. Well, not the concept itself, but what it has come to mean to me in my life. You’ll see by the time you reach the end of the post. Don’t worry, it’s not too long.
I first became aware of Ikigai two or three years ago when it was trending on the internet and in bookstores. It seems that every year or so a new one-word lifestyle concept that promises to change our lives gains a lot of interest, inspires countless Pinterest posts and a couple small-scale books, and then fades back away. Think “hygge” from Denmark, or to a lesser extent “Lagom” from Sweden.
What Ikigai loosely translates to is having a purpose for your life – an overarching reason for why you get up in the morning. Something that makes your life meaningful and drives your efforts each day. When Ikigai first became known in a widespread way I latched on to it. At the time I had grown beyond my post-cancer “what if it comes back?” anxiety and was in a more reflective frame of mind. I began realizing that I would either die relatively young or not-so-young, but the timing was really out of my control and so not worth thinking about. What I wanted to concentrate on was living a life that mattered – creating some sort of a legacy. What did I want people to remember when they remembered who Michelle was? This became important to me, and Ikigai fit right into this mindset.
Many people outside of Japan are interested in Ikigai because there seems to be some correlation between the practice of Ikigai in certain communities in Japan and the longevity of the people in those communities. In fact, some reviews of the books on Ikigai I’ve seen emphasize that goal: “Fall’s biggest imported lifestyle trend is ikigai, and it just might help you live to 100”; other reviews emphasized the other pressing desire of just about all of us – living happier, more fulfilling lives. I really didn’t turn to ikigai for either of those reasons. Instead, Ikigai seemed to me to be a way to approach life in a way that prioritized creating my legacy.
And what would that legacy be? After thinking for a while, I decided that I wanted to be known for my love for others. I decided that my ikigai would be to manifest love in every aspect of my life. I took a piece of paper and wrote “manifest love” in the middle and circled it, and then drew several lines radiating outward to the edges of the page, like the spokes of a wheel or rays of sunshine. On each line I wrote an aspect of my life or a specific person in my life – Sam, Chris, Chloe, Family, Skyler (he was still with us at the time), Friends, Community, Workplace, World. Then I brainstormed specific things I could do to show love in a concrete way to each person and in each situation. I still refer to my ikigai chart and I think that this weekend I will update it to reflect my current situation (Skyler gone, working from home, etc). The goal, however, will stay the same.
The world is a crazy place right now. Let’s face it, the world has always been a crazy place, for as long as humans have run the show, but it feels especially crazy these days. And it feels especially out of our control right now, like a runaway train threatening to jump the tracks at every turn. Your response to this could be anger or despair (and believe me, I’ve seesawed between both of those feelings, especially in the last 24 hours). I’m choosing to go back to what I can control – myself, my attitude, my actions. I’m reacquainting myself with what I can do to project love into the world.
I choose to be the hummingbird.
Love,
Michelle xoxo
P.S. The hummingbirds that gave us so much joy this summer are currently traveling to warmer climes. I look forward to seeing them again next Spring.
See? Even hummingbirds get their feathers ruffled sometimes. Until next year, little friend!
Hello there, friends! I am happy to report that I am healing nicely after last week’s wipe out. My mouth is almost back to normal – lets put it this way, if you saw me without my mask you wouldn’t cringe (I hope). I can now walk on my knee without any pain or need of support. I am taking it very slowly, though. No big walks around the neighborhood for a while yet.
This week I spent a lot of time watching our little hummingbird friends. Unfortunately, we have also had a constant stream of bees and wasps at the feeders. I remember that when I was a teacher this was my least favorite time of year to have outdoor recess duty. The bees do get a bit aggressive at this time of year, which I’ve read is due to a perfect storm of the population being at its peak in late summer, natural food sources running low, and preparing the hive for the winter. The hummingbirds are wary of the bees/wasps – they seem to prefer not feeding at the same time, and tend to fly away if a bee approaches the feeder while they are feeding. However, sometimes a bird’s got to do what a bird’s got to do, and they will put up with the insects in order to get their sugar fix.
Soon the hummingbirds will be migrating south again. Having never experienced this before I don’t know exactly when this will happen, but I’ve read that in late August/early September they will eat even more often to put on some weight for the journey (fun fact – hummingbirds don’t just eat nectar; their diet also consists of small insects like mosquitoes and aphids). Some articles I’ve read have described a sort of feeding frenzy, with many more visits to the feeder, as the migration date nears. So far our hummingbirds don’t like to share the multi-port feeder – if one approaches the feeder, the other zooms off. I wonder if that will change when they start feeding more.
I couldn’t narrow my photos down any further – I am just so fascinated with the different markings of all the birds who visit the feeders. If my photos look like we have very few males – well, we have very few adult males. The juvenile males look like the females (no red throat) until their first winter. However, females have nearly all-white throats and the juvenile males have more gray markings on their throats, so I can sort of guess which ones are which.
This weekend will be low key. No bike rides (ha!) and no walks outside yet. I am re-reading an old favorite book, The Shell Seekers by Rosamunde Pilcher. It’s a very cozy read, perfect for the rainy weather we’re having just now. I’ll spend most of the weekend reading, writing some letters, and keeping an eye on our little hummingbird friends.
Sometimes I think I should just rename my blog “Things That Make Me Happy” because it seems like the only posts I can be counted on making are these weekly odes to happiness (even though today I’m a day late). I do like the self imposed structure of forcing myself at least once a week to let my mind settle on things about life that bring me joy. I find that it’s a practice that is helping to keep me on an even keel these days, and that, as Martha says, is a good thing.
I’ve been trying to get out and take some photos each day, but my 10+ hour days at work (I’m still working from my dining room) have cut into that a bit. I have gotten a few good shots, and I guess I should count a few good shots a week as success.
I’m still fascinated by the hummingbirds. Something that is making me especially happy is that we are now seeing very small hummingbirds at the feeder. Yes, I know all hummingbirds are very small – the ones we have been seeing are about half the size of the others, so we know that somewhere close by there sits a teeny hummingbird nest that these little ones called home not so long ago. That just makes me smile.
Baby animals of all kinds make me happy. This is probably the first year ever that I have paid enough attention to the bird life in my neighborhood to notice the difference between the adult birds flying around and their smaller, more tentative, slightly different colored (the robin young are a little less vibrant, the cardinal young are slightly more vibrant) offspring. I find that I am noticing everything about nature more this year – the budding trees and bushes in the springtime looked more beautiful and miraculous than ever before, but I know for certain they actually looked no different than in previous years. If there are any tiny silver linings of this time of coronavirus-imposed isolation, rediscovering the beauty of nature is one of them for me.
The daisies have been in bloom along the side of our garage for the last couple of weeks. All flowers bring me joy (the topic of another Things That Make Me Happy post), but especially daisies. As I am a hopeless gardener, the fact that daisies are perennials, spread each year, and are no-maintenance (well they might be happier with more maintenance than I give them, but they tolerate my neglect) are all pluses as well.
Working from home has a downside of allowing you the opportunity to work at any and all times. As we are currently in one of our busy seasons at work I could be tempted to work this weekend, but I made the decision yesterday afternoon as I powered down my computer that I will not turn it on until Monday morning. Setting that boundary is making me very happy. My plans for the weekend include sitting in our back yard, reading, taking some photos, writing to friends, and just writing in general. I’ve had some blog post ideas bubbling up in my brain these last few days and I hope to get them out to you soon.
And speaking of the blog, let me just say that knowing you are out there reading these offerings, well, that makes me very happy indeed. Thank you.
