In early January 2020 I sent out a few New Year’s cards to friends and family. In the cards I wrote about how I wished it would be a wonderful year for them, and how I had a really good feeling about 2020. Around June of this year, one of my friends (who, in addition to all that happened in 2020, was also diagnosed with cancer) sent me a photo of the card and said, “This card makes me laugh every time I see it.” Yeah, I guess my really good feeling about 2020 was a bit off.
2020 was certainly a dumpster fire of a year for many reasons that I don’t need to list for you. I’d like to say good riddance to it, but a year in anyone’s life is a precious thing. Ever since my own personal dumpster fire of a year in 2014, I’ve been very sensitive to the fact that every day is an important day. Since starting my gratitude journal and writing 5 things for which I am grateful each day I use it (I must be completely honest and say that it’s a habit I haven’t completely integrated into my daily routine yet), I’ve realized that even the crappiest days have things that while maybe don’t redeem it, certainly enhance it.
In 2020 I got my laptop, started my blog, spent extra time with Sam, had the opportunity to work from home, nurtured hummingbirds and other birds in my back yard, started learning how to use a “real” camera, got in closer contact with my college girlfriends, enjoyed many hours of puzzle-making, learned how to check out e-books from my local library, and many other things I’m sure I’m forgetting. I really can’t say that on a personal level 2020 was a really bad year. Sure, I had to make adjustments. I couldn’t go on a trip to London that I was looking forward to. Chris and I had to give up our weekly date night trip to Chili’s. I had to wear a mask when going out. I couldn’t walk as freely in the park as I’m used to. All of that taken together was pretty tiring. But as I say to Sam quite often when he’s down about something, a day doesn’t have to be perfect to be good – and on a personal level, a year doesn’t have to be perfect to be good.
Now, saying that a year was a good year just because it was good for ME, is pretty self-centered. What about all the people who have died from Covid, or lost a loved one to Covid? What about all the people hurting so deeply because of racial injustice? Not to mention the ugly political divides made wider this year by self-serving politicians. It’s difficult, isn’t it? Balancing your own personal interests and fortunes with that of the world at large. Because there are always atrocities, tragedies, injustices. Everywhere. All the time. 2020’s defects were writ large, certainly. But we live in a world that is beautiful and horrifying, and has been since humans started running the show.
There are things that are happening that inspire hope for 2021 – the vaccines, more discussion and acknowledgment of racial inequities, a new president here in the US. We can now almost see a day in the near future when we will be able to get together safely with friends and family, when life will return to some semblance of normality.
I am going to spend the rest of today thinking about what I want to accomplish in 2021, and what I want my personal theme/word to be this year. For 2020 my word was “Create” and I feel satisfied that I did a fair job of living that theme out, with my blog and other projects. I think 2021’s word will be similar, because I feel there’s still so much more I want to do creatively.
Good-bye, 2020. Welcome, 2021, And to my friends out there – don’t worry, I won’t be jinxing 2021 by sending out any New Year’s cards this year!
Love,
Michelle xoxo