I nearly got up early this morning so that this post would be “Seven Mornings” – a full week. But, nah.
It struck me when looking at these photos that every day is unique. We go through life sometimes thinking it’s the same thing every day – same ol’ same ol’ – a sort of Groundhog Day vibe where we get up, go to work, come home, repeat. But no day is exactly the same as the one before it. The natural world we inhabit changes every single day. And we change too. Time travel is real, and we’re living it every single day of our lives.
Today is my birthday. I am 59 years old today. Nine years ago today I had no idea that I was soon to be diagnosed with a pretty significant case of breast cancer. Eight years ago today I was certain I’d never make it to fifty-nine. Yet here I am. And though I often find living this human life to be quite difficult, I am filled to overflowing with gratitude that I am still here.
I was thinking about the term “self care” this morning while I was on my Sunday hike. These days I walk at least 45 minutes every morning, and on Sunday morning my walk is a hike in one of the parks we are lucky to have nearby. I don’t always feel like putting my sneakers on each morning at 6 (later on the weekends), in fact about half the time I need to push back the “I don’t wanna” voice inside me. One hundred percent of the time, though, I feel wonderful during and after my walk. The “I don’t wanna” voice can also crop up at a restaurant when I have already decided earlier in the day that I would have the arugula salad with chicken but the people with me are getting pasta and meatballs, or when I am at the grocery store on a Friday after work and turn away with some effort from the margarita mixes.
I’m finding that, for me, self care is not so much the pampering of massages, mani/pedis, and bubble baths. Instead it is the hard work done every day to keep my mind and body as strong as they can be. It is clawing my way back from bad patterns and habits that never made me feel good (hello, pretzels and chocolate, I’m talking about you). Self care is telling my inner 5-year-old that a dish of chili pistachios will “ruin your dinner,” because the parent in me knows the child in me will not stop at that one “little dish” of nuts. Marcus Aurelius said, “The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are.” I think in order to truly take care of ourselves we need that aspect of unflinching assessment of who we are and what we really need. I know that in order to feel mentally well, I need to feel physically strong. Sweets, junky food, alcohol, being sedentary – none of these things work for me in the long run. I will have the occasional (less than once a month on average) glass of wine or margarita, but honestly they make me feel like crap the next day – even one glass so that will most likely go by the wayside as well. I am truly a work in progress and always will be, but I feel like I’m on the right track whenever I address the physical aspect of my being.
I’m including my morning walk playlist just for fun. I have Apple Music and there are many curated playlists with titles like, “Sunday Brunch”, “Family Drive”, or “Yard Work”. I found a playlist called “Feeling Happy” that has 100 songs on it and whittled it down to 15 songs that energize me when I’m walking up that hill (apologies to Kate Bush) for the 10th time. I have to say that very few of these songs are ones that I would listen to when not exercising, but they do get me going.
I had my third infusion last week for my bones – three out of six, halfway there. I’ve started taking a Vitamin K2 supplement along with my daily calcium supplement (I try to get about half of my calcium from actual food though). I’m not a big fan of supplements in general because I think they tend to overdo it – why do I need 6000% of the daily recommended allowance of some nutrient? The key should be in the name: it’s supposed to supplement not supplant the nutrients we get in our food. Vitamin K2, however, isn’t in a wide variety of foods – it can be found in egg yolks, fermented foods, cheeses, and some other animal sources. The supplement I have started taking (Amazon link here) has 83% of the daily value for K2. I feel good about that.
Chris and I have been watching “Doc Martin” these days. Neither of us had seen it before, so we’re starting with season one and working our way through the 9 seasons out there. I quickly became addicted – I just love everything about it. We’re also watching “Murder in Suburbia” – we do like a nice, gentle murder mystery, and this fits the bill. This week we also started watching a fascinating multi-part documentary called “Light and Magic.” It follows George Lucas’ Industrial Light and Magic company from its earliest days – the first two episodes cover how a team of honestly brilliant artists and cameramen (no women, alas) figured out how to create the groundbreaking special effects for the first Star Wars movie. Now, I’m not a big Star Wars fan, but I do love watching stories of incredibly talented and creative people (whether they be artists or engineers or scientists) overcoming challenges. It’s so inspiring.
