I returned from Connecticut on April 8 and proceeded to kind of flounder for about four weeks. I just could not get back into my normal groove of exercise and healthy eating. Sure, I have been walking most mornings – but not at the intensity or duration as I had been. Eating, well – one thing I know about myself is that when I find it hard to find comfort in the outside world, I am in danger of turning to food for that comfort.
I returned from my CT visit to the beginning of a quarterly busy period at work. At the very beginning of this busy period, when we usually hit the ground running and get a lot done, we were hit with 2 and a half days of mandatory meetings. Then my boss announced he was quitting. Then a member of my team gave her two-week notice (and we had lost two more people earlier in the year that management decided to “pause” on backfilling), so we were told that we could put in some overtime hours to get the work done. Not mandatory, you understand. Just subtly encouraged.
I have a love/hate relationship with overtime. It used to bend more toward love – extra money! Now it leans more toward hate. I put in 5 hours of overtime last weekend, then worked an extra hour each day during the week. By Friday afternoon, I seriously wanted to quit. I was completely burned out. I realized that I need my entire weekend to recharge my batteries. And that one hour of overtime a day not only uses up that hour, but diminishes the quality of subsequent hours in the day.
Life is short- I should know that more than most. I don’t know how I let myself get caught up again (again!) in things that really don’t matter at the end of the day.
I told my supervisor on Friday that I couldn’t work any overtime this weekend. I decided today that I am not going to work any more overtime hours until our true “busy season” in December (if then).
This, my friends, is called self care.
Yesterday, I had my weekly Zoom call with Beth. I worked the soil in my flower garden. I took a nap. Today I went to the park at the end of the street. I watched and listened and waited. I heard an owl. A hawk flew and perched on a branch soooo close to me – after I had put away my camera. Two hours went by in the blink of an eye. I saw a yellow warbler, some very loud gray catbirds, a nuthatch feeding its young, a Carolina wren, a rabbit munching on dandelions. My batteries, and my heart, are full. And I feel like I am waking up from a month-long torpor. It helps that the weather is finally spring-like, but I know that it is mostly due to remembering my priorities.
Oh, and guess what? We spotted our first hummingbird yesterday – a tiny male who stopped at both of our feeders. He may have been on his way to his final location, as I haven’t seen him today.
I’m so looking forward to getting back into nature, to long morning walks, to taking more photos and writing more here.
Have a wonderful week!
Love,
Michelle xoxo