Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Attitude Adjustment in a COVID-19 World

Why does this make me feel stressed out when I don’t even need any more toilet paper?

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

So, yesterday I said that I was attempting to manage my attitude toward the situation I find myself in, that we are all in our own way finding ourselves in, due to the COVID-19 global pandemic. In a world that is (temporarily) taking away our ability to control many aspects of our life (how and where we exercise, how or even if we work, how we socialize, how we take care of shopping, banking, medical appointments – the list goes on) the one thing we can control is our own attitude.

Yesterday I also wrote here that I would be working as part of a skeleton crew two to three days a week. Well, about a half hour after writing that I got word that my place of business is closing for the rest of this week to sort out how we can all work remotely beginning next week. Words I hear a lot these days are, “It’s a fluid situation.” As someone who loves structure and routine, those are not my favorite words, but I’m rolling with it. Below are some of the things that are helping me roll in the right direction.

  • Sleep. I’m going to sleep and waking about the same time every day, regardless of whether I have to go into work. This is something that I usually try to keep to anyway. I can’t remember the last time I slept in. When I get out of my sleep routine I can start to feel weird. I don’t like the logy feeling I get when I’ve slept too much. It feels just as bad to me as sleeping too little. Just the right amount (which for me is 7-8 hours) and at the right time works best for me.
  • Fresh Air and Exercise. I’m sticking to my first-thing-in-the-morning walks, but now that Chris’ gym is closed, he is joining me on this first walk of the day. First walk of the day because now that Sam is home he and I go on a couple more walks throughout the day and evening. Exercise is scientifically proven to reduce feelings of depression and anxiety. I always, always, always feel better after a walk, even if I was feeling fine before the walk. If, heaven forbid, we are asked sometime in the future to “shelter in place,” I will be the crazy (but happy!) lady walking laps around her own back yard (actually, I just heard that shelter-in-place orders allow for people to go out for walks and fresh air – phew!). 
  • Writing. I have been keeping journals since I was a little girl and I find journaling very therapeutic. This blog is a sort of a journal for me, but I also keep a bullet journal and a gratitude journal. I will write more about my journals in future posts but if you’re wondering what these types of journals are, here are links that describe bullet journaling and gratitude journaling. I’m using my journals to document what is happening in the world and in my life at this time. Along the lines of documentation, I am taking pictures wth my phone of things like empty grocery store shelves, signs up in store windows, etc. This helps me process what is happening and see it as an historic event rather than something that is personal to me. I’m also taking a daily screenshot of the World Health Organization’s “dashboard” graphic that shows the number of cases in the world.
  • Enjoying Hobbies. A couple of weeks ago I bought a food dehydrator. It was a purchase I had been wanting to make for a couple of years, but I tend to agonize over purchases like that. Will I use it for only a week and then leave it to collect dust? Isn’t it awfully bulky? Like that. Finally, I decided to bite the bullet and just do it, and I am so very happy I did. So far I have made crackers, dried citrus slices (I can’t even tell you how delicious these are), tomato slices, and apple slices. Sam and I are going to make beef jerky one of these days. It’s so much fun! Another thing that Sam and I like to do is make puzzles. We spent many happy hours during his winter break making puzzles, so I’ve ordered a couple of 1,000-piece puzzles from Amazon and I’m looking forward to getting them. 
  • Helping Others. We are making a daily trek to Open Door Coffee to get a takeaway coffee. We will be getting takeaway Mexican food from a local business that is feeling the pinch of social distancing. I have started calling my mom twice a day now that I’m home for the foreseeable future and she isn’t able to go to her usual daily social club that she loves. A friend and I are cooking up a fun project to spread some cheer in our neighborhood. I’m going to send out cards to friends celebrating the first day of Spring. Getting outside of my own head and taking actions to make the situation better for other people is a great way of using what little control I have for good.
  • Meditation. I try to meditate every day, using the “10 Percent” app, and I have been doing this for a couple of years now. I could write many paragraphs about meditation and will write a whole post about my meditation practice later this week, but meditation is something I need in order to mitigate my normal tendency toward anxiety. Especially right now, it is a non-negotiable for me, like brushing my teeth. It must get done, because it works.
  • Eating right. Oh, it would be so very easy to fall into the tempting pit of stress-eating right now. That Oreo cookie would comfort me so much! For the 5 seconds it takes to chew and swallow. Then I’ll need another Oreo because I’m still stressed out. And another. And another. Pretty soon the package of Oreos is gone, my body feels like crap, and my mind is still stressed out (actually, more stressed out now, because I’m angry at myself for eating all the Oreos). The truth about stress eating is that it only alleviates stress in the moment you are actually eating. It does absolutely nothing to help the situation. What I need now is a body and a mind that are as strong as I can possibly make them. How I am getting that is partially through eating three really healthy and tasty meals a day. No snacks. Again – non-negotiable. 
  • Nature therapy. Spring is beginning to spring up all around us, and I am spending a lot of time really noticing what is going on in the natural world around me. We have two bird feeders outside one of our kitchen windows, and I could just watch the birds (and pesky squirrels) forever. The robins are back. Little green sprouts are popping up. Daffodils are getting ready for the amazing show they are about to put on for us. It is all loveliness and life out there- just what I need to focus on right now. It’s a balm for my soul.
  • Limit Media. Updates on the COVID-19 situation are coming in constantly. I could literally spend my whole day scrolling through news reports. I’ve decided this is not good for my mental state and I am limiting myself to one news outlet that has live updates (New York Times is offering unlimited free access to coronavirus-related content right now in exchange for your email address) that I will check twice a day, in the morning and evening. 
  • Music. Music has such power to affect my mood. Unlike Oreos, I can binge on music and music videos and actually end up in a better mood (and not an ounce heavier!) There are some songs that just slay me with their beauty, or make me happy all over. I’m indulging in those types of songs these days. 

I hope this list has helped you think of some things you can add to your life to keep yourself on a positive trajectory. 

See you soon, friends. xoxo

My dehydrator seed crackers and citrus slices!
Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Social Distancing – Introvert’s Dream?

The playground at the end of our street

First of all, I want to be the first to predict that, when the big dictionary companies announce their “Word of the Year” for 2020, “social distancing” will be the clear winner. In years to come, when this pandemic is just a memory, the words “social distancing” will remain laden with connotation for all of us.

I am an introvert. When someone asks me if I’m planning to go to a certain social gathering, I’ll often ask “Will there be people there?” And I’m only half kidding. Maybe a quarter kidding. 

Actually, not kidding at all.

Don’t get me wrong. I love people. I love humanity, with all of its flaws. And I love friendship and spending time with friends. As a huge fan of L.M. Montgomery’s book “Anne of Green Gables”, I have always been on the search for what Anne calls “kindred spirits.” Kindred spirits are not always easy to spot. Sometimes it’s the person you’d least expect and they reveal themselves when you least expect it. I love the C.S. Lewis quote, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” One of my most treasured friendships was born at a library story time when I was sitting next to a woman whose three year old had done something outrageous. I whispered to her, “mine does that all the time,” and in that moment we bonded. I consider her a “bosom chum” even though we live far apart and don’t communicate near as much as we should. 

There are many articles already written about how introverts are reacting to social distancing. This (tongue in cheek, I hope) article suggests that introverts “have been inadvertently training to fight coronavirus for years. And, even when it settles down, they’ll be ready for the next pandemic”. There are humorous memes floating about the internet on the matter that suggest that the social distancing associated with COVID-19 is an introvert’s dream.

I must admit there is a part of me that is happy I have enough food on hand that I don’t need to go to the grocery store for the next couple of weeks. The overcrowded stores associated with panic buying leave me completely drained of emotional energy. And I have to say that when I saw a photo of an almost empty Times Square the other day, a sense of calm came over me, like it might come over you when you see a photo of the ocean.

However, social distancing is not this introvert’s dream.

I will miss seeing our friend Daniel at the coffee shop each Saturday. He and his wife Joyce have become good friends of ours, and I’m glad that we recently went out to eat with them because it’s uncertain when we will be able to do that again. Daniel is in an especially vulnerable group and they just cannot risk any unnecessary contact. I will miss going to Chili’s on Saturday night and enjoying the company of our favorite bartenders, Michelle and Lisa. And I worry about how they will manage now. I worry about our local coffee shop, Open Door. It is owned and run by Deborah and staffed by the most lovely young people I have ever had the good fortune to meet. They are open for carry-out, so I will see them on a limited basis, but I worry how this social distancing will affect Deborah’s business. Today I bought a St. Patrick’s Day gift for Chris in the form of a large gift card to Open Door that he can use after this crisis is over. I got the gift card idea from an article on how to support local businesses that may be affected by social distancing.

There are some small silver linings that almost feel selfish to enjoy given the deadly nature of the dark cloud, but I believe that it’s important to my mental health to always find things to be grateful for amidst any situation. I am enjoying the at-a-distance interactions I’m having with fellow neighborhood-walkers these days. Our cheerful “hello” and “stay safe!” greetings make me feel that although we are deliberately staying at least six feet away from each other, we are in this together. When I walk each morning I usually have to be very careful about the timing and sometimes take an alternate route in order to avoid the noxious diesel exhaust of the school bus as it stops and starts through the neighborhood.  All schools are canceled here now, most likely through the end of the year, and so I’m grateful for the clean air each morning. Sam is home from school now, a month and a half early, and I am grateful for the extra time we will have together. Finally, at work we have transitioned to a skeleton crew. For the time being, I only go in 2-3 days a week. I am grateful to have the extra time to spend with my family and work on things like this blog.

I saw a meme once that said “Relax. Nothing is under control.” I’m trying to relax into this temporary “new normal” – to accept what is, do what I can, and continue to look for the silver linings. Sometimes all that you can control is your attitude toward what is happening. Over the next couple of days, I will be sharing some things in my life that help me keep my attitude on the positive side.

Take care, friends. xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Better Angels of Our Nature

“We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.” -Abraham Lincoln, inaugural address, 1861

We are living in trying times. The global pandemic we are now experiencing comes on top of already strained human relations due to political and religious extremism, a dangerously warming planet, and a general fear for our future and the future of our children. And it’s not bringing out the best in many people. Let’s face it, we humans have our dark side, not just on the grand scale of Holocaust and Slavery but on the basic level of unkind thoughts, selfishness, gossip…the list could go on for a while. We look at videos of people fighting over toilet paper with horror and disgust and forget that three and a half months ago we were looking at videos of people fighting over televisions on Black Friday. Perceived scarcity is not our best look.

But thank goodness that’s not the whole story. For every story you hear about someone who breaks quarantine or persists in shaking everyone’s hand in spite of being exposed to the virus, there are many unheard stories of people being extra vigilant – not out of a sense of self preservation (98.9 percent of those who contract the virus will not die from it, after all) but from a sense of civic duty and a desire to protect everyone’s “nana and granddaddy,” to paraphrase US Surgeon General Jerome Adams.

I was listening to the podcast “On Being with Krista Tippett” recently and she was interviewing Nicholas Christakis, who runs the Human Nature Lab at Yale University. Christakis studies not only how humans come together to form a good society through our capacities for love, friendship, cooperation, and teaching, but how these capacities have been formed by strong evolutionary forces. In other words, these positive capacities are part of what has ensured our survival as a species and are therefore deeply ingrained. Although we can sometimes despair that humans are becoming less good over time, some studies have shown that we are actually becoming less violent and more cooperative (one critical look at that assertion can be found here). As Christakis says, “You don’t need to just look at what I would regard as relatively recent historical and cultural forces to get an account of a good life. Deeper, more powerful, more ancient forces are at work, propelling a good society, endowing us with these wonderful capacities, which were always there, are still there, are unavoidable; and if anything, these moves that we’ve made as a species in the last few hundred years are, again, as I’ve said, the thin veneer over this more fundamental reality of the better angels of our nature.” 

Saturday night Chris, Sam, and I were all feeling worn out by our efforts to stay informed and well prepared, the constant low level of anxiety and sense of claustrophobia that news of the pandemic invokes, and the frustration of knowing leaders at the top level of our government have failed us. Chris suggested that we watch something uplifting on TV, specifically the movie “Arrival.” It reminded me of how much I love movies about alien-human contact. Not the “Independence Day” type of movie where the aliens just want to annihilate all humans. No, I like movies like “Contact”, “Arrival”, and “Star Man” – movies that use the storytelling device of alien-human contact as a way to shed light on human nature. These three movies all show the dark side of humans (fear, violence, suspicion, militarism), but also our strength and beauty. In Contact, the alien Jodie Foster’s character encounters comments, “You’re an interesting species. An interesting mix. You’re capable of such beautiful dreams, and such horrible nightmares. You feel so lost, so cut off, so alone, only you’re not. See, in all our searching, the only thing we’ve found that makes the emptiness bearable, is each other.” 

Be safe out there, beautiful dreamers. xoxo 

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Things That Make Me Happy #3

Tea is magical. I just love it. I enjoy other beverages, including coffee, but I’m in a committed relationship with tea. 

Tea engages so many of the senses. It warms your hands and your insides on a chilly day, yet it doesn’t make you too hot on a hot day. Beyond warmth, it provides comfort in a way that no other beverage has ever done for me. A good cup of tea can make a bad day seem brighter, can make a tender tummy feel better, and can instantly soothe frazzled nerves. Just the act of holding a warm teacup in my hands makes me happy.

My dad always had a cup of milky tea with his evening meal, which we always called “supper” growing up, but which everyone seems to call “dinner” these days. He would also drink tea with his favorite snack – peanut butter on saltine crackers. I can picture him sitting at the kitchen table with his cup of tea and his crackers, and it makes me smile.

When I married a Brit, I was a bit nervous about whether or not I was making tea correctly. If you’re thinking, “Make the tea the way you like it – there’s no right or wrong way,” you’re probably not British. There is ongoing debate as to whether the tea should go in first or the milk. This article sets things straight. Or provides further fuel for the debate. Not sure which. Then there is the good natured ribbing people give each other on whether they like their tea too dark or too light or with too much sugar, etc. Whenever Chris has told me that a particular cup of tea that I poured was really good, I have felt inordinately proud.

The one thing I love about British culture is that whenever you feel like making a cup of tea for yourself, you must ask everyone in the house whether they “fancy” a cup as well. This includes the person currently installing a new washing machine in the basement. I love the politeness and care for others that this shows. It warms my heart.

For a while I drank black tea with milk, but a few years ago I changed to (decaf) green tea and herbal teas without milk. Green tea of course has substances in it called polyphenols, and especially one polyphenol called EGCG, which may possibly fight against cancer, so I figure it can’t hurt to drink two or three cups a day. But I also love chamomile, peppermint, and ginger tea, among others. The thing about herbal teas is they smell so wonderful. They’re aromatherapy in a cup.

Beyond the tea itself, I love pretty teacups. A pretty teacup or mug can elevate the whole tea drinking experience to a new level. The Buddha cup pictured is my current “work” teacup and is a bit of a mystery. Where I work there is a kitchen and in the kitchen are cupboards with shared dishes and utensils. But people of course also bring their own stuff, and many of these items somehow find their way temporarily into the cupboards. If something is in the cupboard, it is fair game to use but not to keep at your desk. About two years ago I saw the Buddha cup and had to have a cup of tea in it. I went around asking if anyone knew who the cup belonged to, because I wanted to tell them how lovely it was and ask them where they got it. No one knew. I washed and put the cup back in the cupboard. No one ever took it out. I asked again. Still nothing. I work in a very small company, so this seemed unusual. So, I adopted the cup (well, I guess it’s more accurate to say I am fostering the cup) and will keep it warm and full until its owner needs it again.

Have a wonderful weekend, and I will see you again on Monday. Stay safe out there.

Unfortunately the cup is made for right handed people and I always see this message upside down! 🙂
Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Why I Quit Social Media

This photo was taken on a trip to Florence last year – so Instagrammable!
The reality – an overflowing ash tray on the only table available at the outdoor cafe.

In February of 2009 I joined Facebook. I was a relatively late joiner. I had heard about it and was initially not interested at all. “What’s the point?” I thought. “Why not just email or call or visit friends to keep in touch?” Now, eleven years later, I’ve come full circle.

I saw the best and worst of social media. The best included getting scores of well-wishes on my birthday, or sharing a life event and having several friends commiserate or cheer me on within hours of posting. Or doing the same for someone else. The best of Facebook felt like attending a little party with all the people I liked, near or sometimes very far away, and everyone cared about my stories and laughed at my jokes. And I did the same for them. I loved that part of Facebook.

The worst part of Facebook included seeing a side of friends I wished I could unsee (usually related to politics and world events). Respect lost. Sometimes actual friendships lost, but in most cases they weren’t the highest quality friendships in my life. A friend of a friend that I’d never met. A high school classmate that even after accepting their friendship request I couldn’t quite place. Still, the unfollowing or unfriending always left me with a bad feeling. There was a “so there!” aspect of it that felt great in the moment, but not so great afterward. 

The worst part of Facebook also included the fact that it could be used very easily to compare my own life against the lives of others. And of course I could find mine wanting, because how can my boring job and 15 pound weight gain possibly stand up against the 72 pictures of Susan’s amazing trip to Madrid? Of course what I didn’t know is that she spent the entire trip to Madrid annoyed with her other half and that she hasn’t had sex since 2012 and is beginning to question her life choices.

Maybe. 

Or maybe she had a fabulous time, just not quite as fabulous as the pictures suggest. 

Or maaaaaaybe – maybe the trip was absolutely fabulous, full stop. And maybe Susan’s also pretty darn happy with her life. 

But aren’t I pretty darn happy also? And don’t I also take fun trips now and then? Oh, yeah. I do. And is my job actually boring? Well, no…

It’s insidious, how social media invites us to compare our blooper reel to other people’s highlights. As Teddy Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Suffice it to say, I found that social media was no longer enhancing my life. It wasn’t the fault of social media per se; it was the person I became when I hung around with social media. Social media was a bad influence on me. 

In the summer of 2018 I decided to take a break. Immediately upon deactivating my Facebook and Instagram accounts I felt a difference. I felt free. But I also felt a little isolated. Feeling the dreaded FOMO juuuuuust a bit. Plus, my mother was still on Facebook and I liked to put up pictures and cute animal videos that I thought she might like to see. I also was the admin of a Facebook group I started called “Nourish and Flourish” which was really enjoyable. So, I went back, but to a lesser extent. I deleted the apps for Facebook and Instagram from my phone and put parental controls on so that I wouldn’t be tempted to access the websites through my mobile browser (and promptly forgot my parental control password – oops). I only went on Facebook at home on my iPad. Occasionally I thought about quitting for good, but I couldn’t gain any momentum toward actually leaving. It was like always promising yourself to start that diet on Monday, but never quite following through.

There was no major event that finally made me quit. Well, the impending 2020 election had something to do with it. I didn’t want to go through the social media dramas of 2016 again. And then in an airport book store I found a slim volume by Jaron Lanier titled, “Ten Arguments for Deleting Your Social Media Accounts Right Now.” Here are his ten arguments:

  • You are losing your free will.
  • Quitting social media is the most finely targeted way to resist the insanity of our times.
  • Social media is making you into an asshole.
  • Social media is undermining truth.
  • Social media is making what you say meaningless.
  • Social media is destroying your capacity for empathy.
  • Social media is making you unhappy.
  • Social media doesn’t want you to have economic dignity.
  • Social media is making politics impossible.
  • Social media hates your soul.

Jaron Lanier is a techie’s techie. He is the guy that basically invented virtual reality, and he currently works at Microsoft Research as an interdisciplinary scientist. So, when I found out that he eschews all social media, I had to buy and read this book. I devoured it over the course of a couple days, and it was just the push I needed to leave social media behind. 

Do I miss it? Not really. Not enough to seriously consider ever going back. I’ve gained time in my day to do things like write to people (letters, cards, emails, messenger, texts), read more (although I could be better at this), and start a blog! I’m enjoying interacting with people either one-on-one or in a small group environment (either in person or through technology). It feels more natural to me, and my social life feels more manageable. 

A funny thing happened when I started telling all my friends that I would be quitting Facebook (it’s important, especially for someone like me with a tricky health history, not to suddenly go dark on social media – people start to worry). More than a couple friends called my decision “brave.” Almost everyone said, “I totally understand why you’re doing this.” Can you imagine people saying that to you in any other social context? Or rather, can you imagine people saying that to you in any social context that is supposed to be enjoyable? 

Now, I know that many people do feel that social media enhances their lives. If that is you, wonderful – you are probably a better person than I and can avoid the pitfalls! However, if you feel that social media is dragging you down instead of lifting you up, just know that there is life after social media.

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Forest Bathing – It’s a Thing

The first time I heard the term “forest bathing” it brought to mind people people bathing in hot springs. Then I heard there were such things as “forest bathing guides” and I thought, “maybe people need a guide to bring them to the hot springs?”

Turns out forest bathing has nothing to do with actually taking a bath. Instead, the term “forest bathing” is a rough translation of the Japanese term “shinrin-yoku,” a form of nature therapy that was introduced in the 1980’s as a response to fast-paced urban life. It is nothing more or less than mindful time in nature, emphasis on “mindful.” In order to forest bathe correctly, you must take your time and pay attention to everything around you, using your senses of sight, hearing, smell, and touch to fully experience your surroundings.  Running through a forest listening to a podcast or your favorite music might be a wonderful experience, but it doesn’t qualify as shinrin-yoku. You have to go slowly, looking all around you, stopping often, paying attention to the sounds and smells of nature.

So, why would you want to experience nature in this way? There have been several studies measuring the body’s response to forest bathing and the results are impressive. Reduced levels of the stress hormone cortisol, lower heart rate, reduced risk of coronary heart disease, and improved immune response. All of those indicators are noteworthy, but the improved immune response really got my attention, so I did a little google research and found a few articles, including this study. What they found was a 50% increase in natural killer (NK) cells for the subjects engaged in forest bathing. NK cells are the cells that attack cancer cells. By anyone’s measure, this has to be a good thing, right? 

Now, forest bathing is not being touted as a cure for cancer by any means, and I wouldn’t be so irresponsible as to suggest it might be in the future. Instead, I think of it as one of many lifestyle choices – like getting 8 hours of sleep, exercising regularly, and eating my veggies – that could work in synergy to help maximize my health. And it’s not like spending time in nature is any hardship. It’s not like gagging down a smoothie made of broccoli sprouts because they’re supposed to be good for you (guilty!). I’m sure there must be people out there who truly don’t like spending time in nature, but most of us find spending time in nature a reward in and of itself. All of these physical benefits are just icing on the cake. So, win-win! 

I wondered how much time I would have to spend forest bathing in order to reap any benefits, and found this article that showed that two hours a week (cumulative) is the threshold point at which benefits can be measured. I was glad to hear that you don’t have to do two hours all at once, but that every little bit helps.

On Saturday morning I went for a walk in the little park at the end of my street. It’s not the park with the dramatic sunset-watching vistas. It’s just a small wooded area with a .6 mile trail running through it. The ground was icy, so my planned power walk turned into a tentative stroll. Aha, I thought. Time to try out this forest bathing thing.

These tracks reminded me of those old-timey dance step diagrams.

Nature cooperated in spades. So many birds singing up a storm! Animal tracks easily seen in the thin layer of icy snow on the ground. I saw an owl in flight and locked eyes with her as she perched high in a tree. An enormous pileated woodpecker doing what woodpeckers do best (gosh it looks like a lot of work for whatever food they get from all that pecking). The air was crisp and smelled fresh and clean. I could definitely feel my body slowing down and relaxing. An hour later I returned home, feeling rejuvinated. 

When I take my morning walk, I usually do laps around the neighborhood. I start my weekday walk at 6ish, and walking alone through the woods at that time would probably be foolhardy. I also like to go as fast as I can and listen to podcasts or music. So, any future forest bathing will have to be done on the weekends, as my after-work hours are pretty much spoken for. But I will definitely be trying it again. 

In which I see an owl and reveal just how goofy I am. 🙂
Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Things That Make Me Happy #2

I love when nature reminds me that I’m sharing the neighborhood with more than the expected assortment of humans, dogs, cats, squirrels, chipmunks, and birds. These moments fill me with joy.

Take the photo above. I was on my usual before-work walk through the neighborhood one day last spring when I heard a strange noise. It sounded sort of like a baby crying. I looked up to see a fawn being chased by a fox across a neighbor’s front yard. When the fawn and fox saw me, they both froze and eyed me warily. I loudly shooed the fox away (although he didn’t immediately go, bold fellow that he was). That left the fawn standing in the middle of the street, seemingly not knowing what to do next. The fawn eventually scampered into another neighbor’s yard, leaving me behind with an enormous smile on my face. Our neighborhood is small enough that I knew mama and baby would be reunited soon.

We don’t live in a rural area, but there are woods and forests close enough that we see a certain amount of wildlife. Deer are fairly common. Foxes are less common, but have become a more frequent sight in the last year or two. We’ve seen wild turkeys in our backyard, and one time Sam and I were walking in the little park down the street and happened upon a single wild turkey walking alone (which is unusual since they seem to always travel in groups). This week my husband Chris looked out at our back yard and said, “What’s that?” It was a coyote. 

One evening last year Sam and I were going to our favorite sunset-watching spot (the same spot shown in yesterday’s photos). We had misjudged the timing and arrived after the sun had slid below the horizon and all the other sunset watchers had left. It was on the edge of dusk and dark, and as we arrived at the overlook we saw an enormous owl perched right on the edge of the stone ledges. I’m sure it sensed our presence and took flight over the valley as we watched in awe.

One summer night a year or so ago, I was sitting on the bench in our back yard and some movement caught my eye. It was an old opossum with a crooked tail slowly ambling across the yard. I think his name was Bert. I invited him over for a drink, but it was past his bedtime (yes, I know opossums are nocturnal, but work with me here, I’m being whimsical).

Have a wonderful weekend! I will see you back here on Monday.

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Here Comes the Sun

As the days get longer and we are about to “spring ahead” into daylight savings time, it makes me think about just how much my moods and sense of well being are affected by sunlight. 

When I first started brainstorming names for this blog (about 6 months ago), the name “Sun in My Face” resonated with me. I was inspired by the sunrise photo that is the main photo on this website. Sunrises just always feel so hopeful and positive to me. They are the first sign that a new day “with no mistakes in it yet” (thank you, L.M. Montgomery) is beginning. There is a stillness and a sacredness in both sunrises and sunsets that speak directly to my soul. I’m sure I will write much more about both sunrises and sunsets in future posts on here.

I’ve tried different ways to deal with the darkness of winter, with mixed results. I used a light box for a while, but the intensity of the light gave me a headache. I have become a big fan of twinkle lights, draping them over window frames and in a small tree in my back yard. They are so cheerful to come home to when I leave for work in the dark and return in the dark. 

When I was on Facebook I liked to collect and post photos of things that were beautiful, or made me smile or laugh. One of these little collections I called “A Daily Dose of Beauty.” These were photos taken of the beauty of nature (most not taken by me) in all of its forms. Landscapes, animals, flowers, the ocean – the only common thread was natural beauty. I’d find the photos on Pinterest and post them to my page, one a day. It made me happy to look at the photos myself and to share them with my friends. It felt like I was helping to make Facebook a more positive place.

Another album of photos I collected, back in the winter of 2013/14, I called “Here Comes the Sun.” As you might imagine, all of the photos featured the beauty of the sun. In the darkness of the shortest days of the year, the photos reminded me that the sun was, little by little, returning to us. The golden light in the photos felt almost real enough to bask in and helped me cope with the long, dark winter.

If you’ve been following this blog from the start (last week – ha!) you probably can guess what comes next. I was diagnosed with cancer at the end of that January. Boy, did the winter feel dark and bleak at that point. But something wonderful happened next. My neighbors Chris and Jenny, inspired by my “Here Comes the Sun” Facebook photos, had about about a hundred or so yellow rubber bracelets made up – the kind you wear to support a cause – with the words “Here Comes the Sun” stamped into the rubber. They gave me a big box of these bracelets and I gave them out to friends, family, coworkers – anyone I could think of. I asked people to take a photo of themselves wearing the bracelet and post the photo on Facebook.

The response was tremendous and humbling. If you think basking in the sun feels great, try basking in the love and support of all of your friends and family. It’s a feeling you’ll never forget.

Thanks, Chris and Jenny!
Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Wide Open Spaces

Twenty-one years ago today, I became a mother. Today will be a busy day – working half a day from 7am to 11, then driving 4 hours to where my son Sam goes to college so that I can celebrate with him. Then the four hour drive back home. That sounds brutal, but it’s actually an easy and enjoyable drive. Usually I listen to a lot of podcasts to pass the time, and I stop at the same places along the way for gas and coffee.

When I was pregnant with Sam, the Dixie Chicks were big and I would listen to the song “Wide Open Spaces” many days as I drove to the school in Fort Worth, Texas where I taught third grade. I just loved the vibe of the song – it made me happy. I didn’t really think much about the fact that my much awaited baby would someday be a young adult looking for “room to make the big mistakes.” Today I have it cued up on my Apple Music and  I will listen to it on repeat, reflecting on these past 21 years with much gratitude, wondering how time has gone by quite so fast, and sending all the good vibes I can into the universe for this child of mine.