Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Rainy with a Chance of Adventure

Ermmmm…it’s been a while. This seems to be a recurring theme here in Measure of Calm land. The writing well just seems to have been pretty dry the past few months. There have also been a collection of relatively minor stressors in my life lately that, taken collectively, have left me a bit drained:

  • I’ve been 100% back in the office since September 30. I’m actually glad to be back, but it requires a different type of energy than work-from-home, and that can be a little tough on an introvert such as myself. The more time I spend in the office, though, the stronger that “muscle” gets.
  • I got into a fender-bender a couple of weeks ago in the parking lot of an outlet mall. It was the other driver’s fault – I won’t go into the details of that, except to say that my insurance agrees that it wasn’t my fault, but now we have to deal with the other guy’s insurance. Over the last two weeks I’ve had to get an estimate, arrange for a rental car, pick up the rental car, drive to the body shop, pick the car back up from the body shop, and drop the rental car back off. I got a voicemail on Friday afternoon from the other guy’s insurance, wanting me to call back. I’m fairly certain they are going to try to get me to say that there’s the teeeeeeniest chance it wasn’t 100% their guy’s fault. 
  • Sam’s been interviewing for a position that would be a really great start for him. He’ll find out in the next few days, and my mantra lately has been, “Oh please, oh please, oh please, oh please.” It’s so hard to see your little chick try to launch themself into the big bad world. 
  • Chris has a month-long job in London with a 5 day break in the middle of it. We decided to make a mini-vacation out of it. In late September Chris said, “Oh by the way, have you looked at when your passport expires?” I thought, “Oh it won’t expire until ages from now – I just renewed it!” Then I checked it and saw that it would expire on October 26. Yiiiiiikes! I ran around like a crazy person, getting an appointment to renew, getting my new photos, paying every conceivable extra fee to expedite the heck out of that thing. Up until last Monday I had my plane tickets but wasn’t sure if I’d actually be able to USE my plane tickets. But my passport did arrive, and the next time I write to you I will tell you all about my adventure. I will have to get what the UK government calls a “Day 2 Covid test”, which I’ve scheduled on the day I arrive (you have to show proof that you’ve paid for this test before they let you into the country). I’ll be exploring London (my favorite city) on my own for two days while Chris works, but then we’ll drive down to the southern coast for a couple of days before coming back to London to hang out. This is all contingent on my Covid test being negative, which stresses me out a bit and has made me SUPER cautious about what types of risks I expose myself to, and makes me freak out a little inside every time I hear someone at work cough (we’re required to wear masks in common areas, but still).
  • Pokey’s had some little behavior issues that we’re trying to iron out. We’re having Zoom meetings with a dog trainer (I’m amazed at how much training can be accomplished this way) and I have faith that Pokey’s troubles will be resolved. 

So as I said, these are all relatively minor things – no life-or-death issues. It’s just amazing how the cumulative weight of all these things can drag a person down. 

The weather here has been mostly cloudy and rainy these last few weeks. Today we did see the sun for about a half hour, but for the most part it’s been pretty gloomy. I’m still getting out for my walks/hikes when I can, and my strength training is going well! I hit the gym M-W-F at 6:00 in the morning. The weight room is enormous and there are usually about 5 or 6 of us there at that time. The gym requires masks and as of tomorrow they will require that everyone working out is fully vaccinated. I had been going to the gym six days a week, Monday through Saturday, doing cardio on T-TH-Sat, but due to the number of people who feel free to take off their masks while they’re huffing and puffing on the elliptical or treadmill, I’ve decided to take a break from that until I return from my UK adventure. 

A friend recently mentioned a post I wrote about poetry back in May of 2020. I couldn’t remember the post so I went back to read it, which lead to me reading every single post since I started this blog back in February of 2020. I feel like my posts early on were less “catching-up-on-my-life” and more “delving-into-the-substance-of-life.” I’d like to get back to more of those types of posts, but I need to get back into the right headspace in order to do so. I’ve just been a bit preoccupied over the past several months with the minutiae of life, I think.

I’ve started setting aside my fiction reading (although I am ADDICTED to the Chief Inspector Gamache books by Louise Penny) a few times a week to read more poetry. There’s just something about reading my favorite poets (Mary Oliver, Wendell Berry, Rainer Maria Rilke, Billy Collins, among others) that makes me think more about Life-with-a-capital-L. I’m going to be spending a lot of my alone time in London walking and thinking (I’m planning to spend most of Saturday in Hampstead Heath), priming the pump for some future posts. Watch this space! 🙂

Love, 

Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Peace, Love, Mushrooms, and a Lovely Sunset

I’ve been spending a lot of time in nature since my last post. I’ve fallen in love with the hiking trails at my sunset watching park. My favorite trail is 1.6 miles, rocky, largely unpaved, and fairly challenging. Now that Pokey is six months old, he’s proving to be quite a little mountain goat and a wonderful hiking partner. I’m trying to take advantage of these last few weeks before the clocks are turned back (sob!) to get in some after-dinner hikes.

I love hunting for mushrooms this time of year. Not to pick! I would never be so adventurous (foolhardy?) as to harvest any mushrooms for eating. No, what I enjoy is seeing how many different types I can find. It also forces me to slow down on my hikes, to go off-trail and be mindful. The more time I spend in nature the more I realize that I need to spend even more time in nature. It gives back to me everything that modern life takes away.

I’ve read two books in the last two weeks – the first, Still Life by Louise Penny, is the first book in her “Chief Inspector Gamache” series of what could be described as “cozy” murder mysteries. It was recommended to me by my friend Lori. The series takes place in a small town in Canada. After finishing the first book, I joked with Lori that I’d love to move to that little, fictional town and work in the bookstore with her. Her husband Mike joined in that he’d work in the boulangerie (there are some wonderful food descriptions in the book; I’m still drooling over a warm, thickly cut ham and slightly melted brie croissant sandwich). I’m on the waiting list at the library for book number two of the series and I can’t wait to read it.

The second book I finished is by one of my favorite childhood authors, Judy Blume. This is the first of her books for adults that I have read, and I was intrigued by the real-life incidents that inspired the book. Over the course of 2 months in late 1951 – 1952 three commercial airliners crashed into the town of Elizabeth, New Jersey. Judy Blume grew up in Elizabeth and was in middle school when the crashes occurred. I enjoyed the book, but it was also a bit too much of a soap opera for me.

My big news is that I start going back into the office full-time on Thursday. I’m feeling a bit neutral about it – working from home can be a bit isolating, but I’m also an introvert and I feel like I get my best work done when I’m just left alone to do it. It is what it is, though. I’m grateful for the time I was able spend these past 18 months working from home.

I hope you’re having a restful weekend, friends.

Love,
Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

What I Did on My Summer Vacation

So, I figured that if I was going to write a post titled “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” I had better write it before October. So, here I am.

I don’t actually get a summer vacation anymore of course. I have three weeks of vacation a year that I very carefully plan out. But the weather in summertime lends itself to so much more activity than other months. It somehow feels more laid back, even though I am still working like a mad woman on my computer 8 hours a day. This is the season of picnics, taking a nap on a beach blanket under a tree in the backyard on a Sunday afternoon, and going for a walk at 6 in the morning and having it be light already. Summertime and the living is easy. Ish.

I thought I would recap my life over the last few months (since the beginning of May, actually) with a few lists of things I’ve done, read, and watched. So here goes:

Things I’ve Done:

  1. Several trips to Cincinnati to move Sam out of his apartment
  2. Going on weekly hikes with an old teaching buddy of mine.
  3. Morning walks with Sam and Pokey
  4. Lunchtime and after-work walks with Chris
  5. Teaching Sam how to drive on the highway (terrifying – actually I shouldn’t say that; he’s a good driver; but, yeah, terrifying)
  6. Spending an unexpected afternoon in downtown Cleveland – treating myself to a doughnut and coffee, browsing some interesting shops, taking photos
  7. Road trip to Connecticut – picnics with my mother, quality time with my sisters, the excitement of a hurricane warning, dinner in Fairfield with my college friend Lori, “glamping” with more college friends and laughing so much, a picnic lunch with Mom and my oldest friend, Beth (49 years of friendship and counting)
  8. A fabulous 58th birthday with cards galore from friends, an incredible dinner prepared by Chris, and the best gift of all – a gift card to a spa which I will use for much needed massages
  9. The continuation of our Covid-era version of Saturday date nights (making our own decadent food and watching something fun on TV)

Books I’ve Read:

  1. Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport
  2. The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune
  3. Evvie Drake Starts Over by Linda Holmes
  4. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab
  5. Rachel to the Rescue by Elinor Lipman
  6. The Authenticity Project by Clare Pooley
  7. My Latest Grievance by Elinor Lipman
  8. The Age of Misadventure by Judy Leigh
  9. The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
  10. Agatha Arch is Afraid of Everything by Kristin Bair
  11. The Rise and Fall of D.O.D.O by Neal Stephenson
  12. Master of the Revels by Nicole Galland
  13. The entire “Rivers of London” series by Ben Aaronovitch

Shows We’ve Enjoyed

  1. Ted Lasso
  2. What We Do in the Shadows
  3. Killing Eve (we’ve just started this one)
  4. Death in Paradise (we love a nice, gentle murder mystery)
  5. Ghosts
  6. The Cafe
  7. Trying
  8. Vera (new season!)
  9. Only Murders in the Building

As I’ve said in past posts, Autumn is my favorite season, but Summer is a close second. Even though I’ve had my struggles with feeling “meh” this summer, it’s really been a wonderful time and I’m so grateful for everything I am able to experience and accomplish. Yesterday being September 11th was enough to put me in a reflective mood, but Chris and I also attended a memorial service yesterday afternoon for an amazing woman who left this earth way too soon, and who battled ALS courageously for years. The clock is ticking, friends. Let’s get busy.

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Hummingbirds

Sorry for the rather uninspired title of this post!

Here I am nearly a month after my last post. I would like to say that I’ll be posting more frequently. I really would. I do have several photos I took on a recent trip, so I can do a sort of “What I Did on My Summer Vacation” post next. I also have several ideas percolating in my brain for future posts (and some pretty gnarly photos of mushrooms I’ve taken lately – you know how I love mushrooms). So yes, I will post again soon!

This post, however, is dedicated to “my” hummingbirds. Photos from my feeder here in Ohio and from outside my sister’s window in Connecticut.

You may know that only the adult male Ruby Throated Hummingbirds have a red throat patch. The juvenile males’ throat feathers don’t turn red until after their first winter. The adult and juvenile females tend to have either plain white feathers on their throats or some light gray streaking, and the juvenile males have heavier streaking. Your guess is as good as mine as to whether the above are adult females or juveniles (I tend to think most of them are juvenile males). Also, the adult male’s throat patch can look black if the feathers don’t catch the sun. In most of my photos of adult male hummingbirds, they look kind of like dark blobs. Next year it will be my goal to get some better photos of adult males!

It will have to be next year, because I think our hummingbirds have begun their migration south. I haven’t seen any birds at the feeder for the last two days or so. There may be stragglers, but I’m sure most of them have gone.

Sigh.

Safe travels, little ones. We’ll miss you.

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

That Back-to-School Feeling

I was outside dead-heading the daisies today. They were so glorious for pretty much all of July, but with August has come the inevitable decline. It doesn’t bother me – August is one of my favorite months for the very fact that the harbingers of Autumn start to show up. That slight chill on morning walks. A few early leaves dropping from trees. Autumn is my favorite season, so I do love the anticipation August brings.

Operation Bone Strength is well underway. I’ve had my first infusion of Zometa (after a very frustrating and tear-inducing afternoon dealing with my insurance company, yikes), which I will receive every six months for the next three years. I’ve had a fitness assessment done at my new gym and have been given a resistance training routine that I will now do 3 times a week. I am counting my calcium and sodium milligrams, keeping both in optimum levels (the sodium is the hardest part for me – so many things that don’t actually taste salty contain sooooo much sodium!)

I have a new morning walk route that I have chosen because of a killer hill it contains. I walk up and down the hill repeatedly, which is good for both my cardiovascular system and my bones. Walking up and down hills, as opposed to on level ground, puts greater pressure on the skeleton because you are working against gravity as you go uphill and have added downhill physical force as you go downhill.  This added pressure stimulates the bones to get stronger. 

I love to look at the wildflowers (weeds?) as I walk. I can only identify one of them (Queen Anne’s Lace!) but I find them all fascinating. 

I have some exciting things planned for this month:  a road trip to visit my mom in Connecticut, a mini-reunion with a group of college girlfriends, a one-hour massage after I get back from my road trip, a lovely meal to celebrate my birthday (58 -yay!).

Hope you’re having a great weekend, and a shout-out to my dear friend Lisa whose birthday is today. Happy birthday, Lisa!

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Becoming The Ocean

One of my favorite quotes comes from Leonard Cohen: “If you don’t become the ocean you’ll be seasick every day.” 

I’ve been working on becoming the ocean lately. Accepting what is happening in each moment. Trying to appreciate my life exactly as it is right now. 

Life is hectic with a full time job, a puppy, a child back in the nest trying very hard to leave the nest again (i.e. job hunting), and the inevitable unwelcome surprises that come into virtually every life. 

I found out a couple weeks ago that I have osteoporosis. Not entirely a surprise, as I already had osteopenia (a weakening of the bones that’s not quite severe enough to call osteoporosis yet) and I’ve been on a cancer drug for the last 6 years that is known for weakening bones. 

Still, I felt a bit let down by my medical team (why did they only casually tell me to eat a calcium-rich diet all these years? Why didn’t they get me on bone strengthening drugs to counteract the cancer drugs?) and by myself (why didn’t I advocate better for myself? Why didn’t I take the osteopenia seriously enough?). I also felt like here was one more thing that cancer had taken away from me. I felt suddenly frail. Old. Vulnerable. Depressed.

Then I decided to become the ocean:

I joined a gym, have scheduled a fitness assessment, and will be starting resistance training on the weight machines there (resistance training is good for strengthening  bones, as well as for counteracting the decrease in muscle mass that comes with advancing age).

I am incorporating more weight bearing exercise into my routine. I’ve always walked daily, but now I walk up and down hills in order to increase the load put on my bones with each step.

I have cut out caffeine and am counting milligrams of calcium and sodium in my diet. Why sodium, you ask? Our American diets are notoriously high in sodium, and sodium in the diet has been linked to osteoporosis. Some studies have questioned the link, but no studies have shown that eating twice the recommended amount of sodium per day (which is what many Americans do) is good for you in any way. So I’ll keep counting.

My medical team has sprung into action and I will now be receiving a twice yearly infusion of a bone strengthening drug called Zometa. That is, I’ll be receiving it if my medical insurance agrees it’s necessary. My first infusion will hopefully be this Friday.

I’m starting to feel more like myself these days. Taking more photos. Getting out into nature more. I’ve scheduled a weekly hike with an old teaching friend who I didn’t see all through the pandemic. I’m spending more time in the little park at the end of the street. I’m journaling more, being better about keeping in touch with friends, and being careful about what I let into my head in the way of media (I’ve deleted the only news app on my phone and am only interested in books/movies/tv that lift me up and show me the good side of humanity). 

I hope you’re having a lovely weekend, friends. I’ve missed you. 

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Ordinary Days

Hello friends! I hope your summer is going well. As I write this I’m sitting next to a snoozing puppy – a sleeping puppy is a wonderful thing. I don’t really have a lot to report. My days consist of getting up at 6, walking a lap around the neighborhood with Sam and Pokey, walking another lap by myself, doing 30 minutes of yoga, shower/dress/breakfast, 8 hours in front of the computer, a couple more laps around the block with Chris, call my mom, dinner, tv show, puppy play, repeat. I also fit some reading in here and there. And hummingbird watching. On weekends there is more puppy, more reading, more hummingbird watching, no sitting in front of the computer. 

Within this pretty ordinary structure, some less-than-ordinary events:

  • A trip with Pokey to the Emergency Veterinary Hospital. We thought he had swallowed a straight (sewing) pin. Two and a half hours of waiting and three very expensive x-rays later, we learned that he did not in fact swallow a straight pin. 
  • One night as I was standing in the back yard with Pokey, waiting for him to pee, he became very alert to something. I looked up to see what that something was and saw that it was a skunk walking across the top of our yard where it bordered our neighbor’s yard. To say I moved quickly to pick Pokey up and get both of us inside would be an understatement.
  • A mother squirrel leading five baby squirrels across the telephone line that runs across the corner of our yard. Amazing that they are born with such balance. 
  • One morning as Sam and I were walking with Pokey we saw a cat-sized animal scurrying around the street and front yards about 50 yards from us, making funny warbling noises. Turned out it was a (young, I think) raccoon. We walked in the opposite direction, less quickly than I had with the skunk but with what we called in the military a “sense of urgency.”
  • I saw a pileated woodpecker fly low through our neighborhood, calling as it went. Lovely.
  • One morning on my solo walk, the heavens opened up as I was about half-way around the block. There was nothing to do but to keep walking and I was very soon soaked to the skin. Now, I’m not generally one of those perky creatures who count “walking in the rain” as one of my favorite things. I’m not a big fan of getting wet. But once I couldn’t get much more wet, I found the experience exhilarating. It brought to mind days at the beach when I was young, for in what other circumstance does a person generally find themselves soaking wet outside? 
  • A mother deer with two tiny fawns in our back yard, the fawns frolicking back and forth while the mother waited patiently. 
  • Our “wall of daisies” has started to bloom. There are easily more than a thousand buds in various stages of bursting forth with sunny goodness.

Today is Sunday and I’m feeling delightfully snoozy myself. I might just take a wee nap. Take care, friends. See you soon.

Love,

Michelle xoxo 

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

The Summer of Pokey

First nap of the day, after waking at 5am
As he gets older, his ears will stick straight up. 🙂

I think if we did a DNA test on him, we’d definitely find out he’s part “Scamp”
Those eyelashes!!!

As you can see above, we have a puppy. His name is Pokey and he is a hybrid breed – chihuahua and toy fox terrier. Sam and I drove to Eastern Indiana to pick him up on Sunday and he has turned our lives upside down. Puppies are like babies, several people have said to me this week. Yes, I say, but you can put a diaper on a baby and they can’t run around for several months. Oh yes, and they’re (usually) born without teeth. 

Since January I have thought of 2021 as my “Year of Yoga.” I really enjoy my daily yoga practice. I’ve mentioned here before how satisfying it has been to notice improvements in my strength, flexibility, and balance. I also have a goal/dream of transitioning to in-person classes and going through instructor training in 2022. 

But if 2021 is my “Year of Yoga,” the summer of 2021 is definitely going to be our “Summer of Pokey.” Getting a chihuahua puppy has been a dream of Sam’s since he was about 10 years old. This summer after graduation but before his first grown-up job seemed like a perfect time to get that puppy and train him up before Sam moves on with his life. I told Sam that I would be his back-up and help out in any way I could during these first crucial months. 

Pokey could not be more adorable. He is sweet and affectionate and really smart (proud grandma here). He is also a handful, as pretty much all puppies are. I’ve had puppies before, but I was younger then and I think I had blocked out all the bad parts. So as much as I truly love this little guy, it’s good to have this reminder of what puppies are like, and I know that if I ever get a dog or cat in the future it will be of the adult variety.

Sorry I’ve been absent here lately. I’ve just been in a funk for the last month or so. I’ve been taking fewer photos too, and usually I start creating each blog post around the photos that I took over the previous few days. I really don’t want this blog to tail off into nonexistence. Since I’m not on social media, I like being able to communicate in this way with friends and family and whoever else out there in the world happens upon the blog. So please know that I’m not giving up on the blog and I do want it to continue but I’m struggling a bit at the moment with finding the type of energy needed to write these posts.

Hope you are enjoying your weekend!

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

They’re Back!

Hello friends – I’m thrilled to report that we’ve seen our first hummingbirds this week! It’s amazing to think that these little birds are here after traveling all the way from Mexico or Central America or somewhere else equally incredibly far away. I’m so happy to have them back for another season, although it’s been so cold and rainy this week I feel like a terrible host! Today it actually snowed for a period of about an hour and a half.

In other wildlife news, it’s been confirmed that we have a whole fox family living in the neighborhood. Chris and I saw the kits (baby foxes) cavorting like a litter of puppies when we were out walking the other day. The den appears to be at the far end of a neighbor’s yard a couple of houses down, in a group of bushes along the property line. We heard the eerie sounds (a bit like 0:08 to 0:49 in this clip) they make the other day at about 4am. Unsettling, to say the least!

Today is Mother’s Day, and I hope you are having a pleasant day. I know that this is a difficult day for some people, for many different reasons. I’ve had a relaxing day, even napping for about two hours, and have spoken to Sam a couple of times. I made myself a special breakfast of French toast with lots of butter and real maple syrup. It was fabulous. Last week was surprisingly difficult for me. I told a friend that with Sam now graduated from college, I’ve had to trade all the worries I had for him during his school years for a whole new set of worries. Now I wish I had all those old worries back! Which makes me laugh at myself – we humans really are ridiculous sometimes (sometimes?).

Have a great week, lovelies!

Michelle xoxo

Posted on : By : Michelle Posted in : Uncategorized

Big Weekend

Hello, friends. I am knackered. I just arrived back home after spending the weekend in Cincinnati. Sam graduated on Friday evening. The weather was perfect and the ceremony was perfect (one hour long – which I think is a world record for the shortest graduation ceremony ever). I stayed on to have a fun weekend with Sam – shopping thrift stores, hiking in a gorgeous park (Mt. Airy Forest – I highly recommend a visit if you find yourself in Cincinnati and want a somewhat challenging hike), watching a movie (Spy Kids – a childhood favorite of Sam’s), and eating lots of cake, ice cream, and other goodies. I am so happy for him, so amazed at how fast that four years went by, and so tired (in a good way). I’m also feeling all the parental feels that come with watching your child finish one chapter and begin a new one.

Have a great week!

Love,

Michelle xoxo