Dealing with Uncertainty

So, I’m waiting for some test results to come back – nothing potentially earth-shattering, just yearly physical stuff, but anyone who is in this cancer survivor club knows that with any test result comes the possibility that something will be amiss. Sure, you THINK you feel great, but look at this! Your such-and-such level is way off the charts! We’ll have to investigate…

It’s always an exercise in staying calm, in not putting the cart before the horse, in not letting your imagination spiral out of control. In an example of perfect timing, there was this article in the New York Times today about dealing with uncertainty of any kind. I found both the piece itself and the comment section very affirming and consoling. It’s always nice to know you’re not alone. And even though most of you reading this are probably not cancer patients or survivors, there is plenty of uncertainty to go around these days, whether it be covid-related news, politics, social justice, the environment – you name it.

I find it helpful to think about the things that are constant, and that will remain constant no matter what. The two things that are most important to me – the love I give and receive, and the beauty of the natural world – will not change in my lifetime, no matter what my test results are or who is elected in November, or when a vaccine is available. They will always be there for me, every day, all day.

In the last couple of days I witnessed two things in nature that I haven’t seen outside of a television program. The first was a mother deer in our backyard a few mornings ago, nursing her two nearly-grown fawns. Lovely.

The second thing happened this morning. I’ve mentioned in this blog before about how I am fascinated by crows. I love how they live in groups – they remind me of this cool bird gang that you see hanging out in the neighborhood, chatting amongst themselves, calling out to their friends half-way down the block to come join the conversation.

I had heard from my sister that crows can exhibit a behavior called “mobbing.” Mobbing is when a group of animals, usually birds, coordinate to intimidate a predator – swooping, chasing, trash-talking. She once saw a group of crows mobbing a fox in her back yard that had just killed a baby turkey. This morning, as I was entering the park at the end of the street, I heard the crows caw-ing like crazy. I looked around to see where they were perched, and lo and behold they came swooping and chasing after a fox, who was carrying something small, furry, and presumably recently-dead in its jaws. The fox ran across my path, away from the crows and into the brush, to enjoy its meal in peace. The crows flew back to their perches. I walked on, a big smile on my face.

The deer and the fox and the crows don’t care about my test results. They don’t care who wins the election in November, and they don’t care what other craziness we humans think up to do to each other. The trees are turning incredible autumn colors, just as they always have every autumn of my life, just as they will continue to do after I’m long gone. These things are certain. You could argue that with the threat of global climate change these things also face uncertainty. I would agree with you. But for the moment I find great comfort in my walks in the woods, the birds in the trees, and the glory of a sunrise.

Have a wonderful weekend, friends.

Love,

Michelle xoxo