Ten days ago – Thursday, January 4 – I decided to work from home. I had worked 12 hours on Tuesday, 11 hours on Wednesday, was fully expecting to work more than 8 hours on Thursday, but for my emotional health I needed to do it from home. I had to get away from that office and a situation there that would have been a great story arc for The Office but was absolutely maddening when I had to face it each day.
Part-way through the day I started to notice all the signs of an impending cold – sore throat, sinus headache, fatigue. After clocking out that day I went straight to bed. Woke up the next morning feeling worse. Worked from home again Friday. Saturday, felt no better. Sunday woke up with one eye glued shut from pink eye and my right ear leaking something it shouldn’t be leaking. Went to the local urgent care as soon as they opened and left with some drops for my eye and drops for my ear.
This cold has lingered. I still am not 100% better. Last week I worked from home Monday – Friday, 8 hours a day. My eyes (the pink eye migrated to the other eye as well) are better, thank goodness. Nasal congestion and coughing is about 75% better. Ear is still completely blocked and I can’t hear much of anything on that side. I see a visit to my PCP in my future if it doesn’t clear soon.
I have been working on compiling my 24 for 2024 and one of the items is/was, “Find a way to disengage from office politics.” This illness has shown me one way to accomplish this – working from home. We’re allowed to work from home two days a week but I had not worked from home since mid-July (funnily enough, around the same time this crazy situation at work began). Working from home last week gave me the perspective I needed, a perspective I couldn’t get when I was immersed in that office culture every day. I need more of that space, moving forward.
I am always lured into working too many hours during our busy season – unlimited overtime! Think of the $$$$$!!!! And I do like the extra cash. But there’s a balance to be had. We were given unlimited overtime because management decided they didn’t need to backfill positions in my department when people left. Then busy season happened and – “oh no!” – how is all this work going to get done on time?
But let’s face it. I am a 60-year-old cancer survivor. I should know better. Next busy season, if they haven’t sorted out how to properly manage operations, I’m not going to take that on as my problem.
I find it kind of amusing how I’ve needed more than one wake-up call to prioritize myself. Wouldn’t you think a rather nasty case of cancer would have done that once and for all? I know I’ve sat here writing posts several times in the past saying, “that’s it! I am going to take care of myself, not take on too much at work – I will prioritize my health!” And yet. Oh, it sucks you in, friends. Especially if you are a people pleaser. Especially if you pride yourself on being a “good worker,” whatever that means. And I don’t even have a big, impressive career! I don’t make a huge hourly wage. My job title will not cause anyone reading my Small-But-Moderately-Prestigious-Northeastern-Liberal-Arts-College Alumni Newsletter to clench their teeth in envy. All of this pressure? It is literally all me.
I’m going to sit with that a moment here. Here’s a bird to look at while I do:
I don’t know what the answer is yet. But I know the quality of my life, for however long I stay here among you good people, depends on it. Maybe that’s a good enough start.
Have a wonderful week, friends.
Love,
Michelle xoxo