Author: Michelle

Hello friends,

Last weekend I went for a hike with an ex-coworker. We had been wanting to get together for nearly a year, and finally all the stars and schedules aligned and we made it happen. We were always friendly but never particularly close, but I knew she appreciated plain-speaking, so in my text setting up the time-and-place I said, “I have one ground rule – I cannot talk about the election. It did not go the way I had hoped and I’m still grieving.” She replied, in part, “Am in agreement that no talk is good. I don’t want to be in denial, but going over it isn’t healthy for my sweet soul.”

I love that phrase “my sweet soul” – it implies a love and concern for oneself that necessitates loving care and protection. I have been taking care of my own sweet soul lately. The biggest thing I have done is to pull away from all coverage of current events. On election night I could see the direction things were going in, and on Wednesday morning texts from friends seemed to confirm my fears. From that moment on I have refused to look at any news coverage of this country or the world. I could not bring myself to see any of it in writing, to watch any of it unfold. I’m not in denial. I know what is happening. I’m just not going to bear witness to it. As someone who checked my NPR news app several times a day and prided myself on scoring at least 7 out of 10 on their weekly news quiz, this is a big change for me.

I’m tending to myself. I’m eating really healthily. I’m reading (loved “We Solve Murders” by Richard Osman and “How to Age Disgracefully” by Clare Pooley). I bought myself two new jigsaw puzzles and always have one going. I’m spending a lot of time taking photos and editing them. I’ve decided that I’m going to wear sneakers to work for the rest of 2024. I’m prioritizing comfort. I’m listening to a lot of music (have discovered the beautiful music of Nick Drake, and often fall asleep to his album “Pink Moon”). I have a “Serenity” playlist on my Apple Music that I listen to instead of office chatter when I’m not working from home. I took advantage of a 50%-off early Black Friday sale to sign up for a year’s worth of the meditation app Headspace.

What are you doing to take care of your own sweet soul?

Have a gentle week.

Love,

Michelle xoxo

From the poem “September 2001, New York City” by Sharon Olds:

“I don’t think I could ever write about it. Maybe in a year I could write something. There is something in me maybe someday to be written; now it is folded, and folded, and folded, like a note in school.”

Love,

Michelle xoxo

P.S. Next week, I will probably speak of the healing power of nature, or describe the curled leaves as they were pushed so quickly across the surface of a pond by a light breeze, just like little sailboats. Or the moment yesterday when a mink and I surprised the heck out of each other and I laughed out loud in spite of my heavy heart. This week, I’m hunkering down and licking my wounds. Much love to you all. xoxo

Hello my friends,

I have spent the past week trying to absorb as much of the warm autumn colors as possible. The days are getting shorter, next week we turn the clocks back, and I have an urgency within me to make the most of these golden days. Yesterday I drove to Sandy Ridge Reservation. I hadn’t been since the end of September, and I was hoping that the dry conditions I saw at that time had gotten better with October rains. Unfortunately it was even worse off than one month ago. There were very few water birds there and I was just beginning to feel like the hour-long drive had been wasted when lo and behold! Two Sandhill Cranes appeared before me. This was the first time I had ever seen this species, and I was bowled over by how gorgeous they are.

I’m a bit preoccupied with the upcoming election in the United States. It has me worried. It has me disheartened. I try not to think too much about it, about the impact it could have. To be completely honest, this reminds me of the feeling of waiting to see if the lump is cancer or not. I have the same sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Pre-2016, I never had this feeling at election time. Since I first started voting in 1984 I have voted for both Republican and Democrat candidates. I don’t know if it’s the rise of social media, or what – I’m sure social scientists have different theories – but something has changed in this country that breaks my heart. There is a young man, maybe thirty, who I see fairly often at Beaver Marsh. Soft spoken, walking his dog, sometimes with a camera, friendly, eager to help. One day recently I figured out which car was his in the parking lot, and it is covered with the most vile, obscene, hate-filled political bumper stickers I have ever seen. I’m sitting here at the keyboard just shaking my head, because I don’t know what else to say.

So.

I won’t say anymore about that topic. But I just wanted to let you know that it’s so weird for me these days, dealing with my feelings about the election on top of all the other normal things that I stress out about. Because I think that many of you who live in the States are probably feeling the same way, no matter which candidate you support. I found this article about political stress very interesting. And I found this article about ways to deal with stress to be very helpful.

I hope you have a good week. Be gentle with yourselves.

Love,

Michelle xoxo

I’m back.

The first six photos above were taken during my recent visit to New Zealand. The rest are from yesterday here in Ohio.

It was a wonderful time in New Zealand. The one fly in the ointment was that halfway into my visit I tripped on the sidewalk in a shopping center and landed with a lot of my weight on my right hand, bending it backwards and rendering it pretty much unusable for the rest of the trip. A visit to Urgent Care showed that no bones were broken, thank goodness, but a week and a half later it’s not completely better. Mostly better, but still weird.

I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed by that turn of events. I had wanted to take so many more photos, and there was just no way that was going to happen (although I could manage to take some with my phone). But, I knew I’d be back. Those photos will just have to wait. And I knew there was a lesson in there for me too – something about how things can change in the blink of an eye, and how we take so much for granted on a day-to-day basis, like two hands that work properly.

The return trip was pretty uneventful, although I had to rely on the kindness of strangers to help me stow my carry-on bag in the overhead storage bins. Also, the zipper on an outer pocket of my trusty backpack died at the very beginning of my trip back (I caught it right away and moved everything from that pocket), so I got to hear many kind strangers tell me, “Your bag’s unzipped!”

I arrived back at 10pm-ish last Sunday night, to a cold, rainy midwest October. It took me the whole week to re-enter my life here, but this weekend was absolutely gorgeous and I finally got back into the swing of things. I’m able to manage the big camera really well now, with no pain in my boo-boo hand. Yesterday morning I visited a trail I had never been to before as well as visiting Beaver Marsh in the early evening, and this morning I returned to Beaver Marsh. It was sooooo cold when I first got there this morning, and I met up with some of the other “regulars” there to complain about the cold and compare notes about what’s been seen there recently. There have been some bald eagles hanging out right off the trail lately (which none of us saw today), and I showed a very blurry photo I took yesterday of what I thought was not a beaver or a muskrat but a river otter, and they all agreed it was an otter – or the Loch Ness monster far from home; it really was pretty blurry. I feel like these people are becoming friends, and that makes me happy.

I hope you have a wonderful week, friends. Thanks for visiting.

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Hello friends,

It’s been a cloudy, gray, rainy weekend. I feel like the overall vibe of the photos above reflects that. All colors were subdued, muted greens and grays and browns. It was difficult for me to get sharp edges on any of my photos.

Two days in a row I went to an amazing wetland area called Sandy Ridge Reservation. All of the photos above were taken in those two days. It takes an hour to get to SRR, so it’s not someplace I’ve typically gone to very often. I decided this weekend that it’s well worth the investment in time when there are so many more opportunities for photographs than at my 12-minutes-from-home Beaver Marsh.

My experiment with Instagram is going well, I think. My mind is a bit blown by the photography that is out there, but in a good way. It is informing me and inspiring me. It’s showing me where the gaps in my knowledge are (Swiss cheese comes to mind). I don’t mind being at the low end of a very steep learning curve. I told Chris it’s like finishing a great book by an unfamiliar author and then finding out they’ve written 20 more books. So much more goodness to experience. I also like the fact that I am looking at my own photography with a new, critical eye. I’ve been posting one photo a day to my account, and I’m being very picky about what makes the cut.

I have some upcoming travels and won’t be posting next weekend and probably the weekend after. Take good care of yourselves while I’m away.

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Hi friends,

Last week was a good week. I’ve started going out into nature immediately after work. When it’s an office day, I bring an extra change of clothes, change and do some yoga stretches at my gym, then head to the trails. If I go straight home, I find I tend to feel too tired to get back out there again. When it’s a work from home day I’m already in my hiking clothes and very ready to get out in the fresh air come quitting time. It’s working well.

The fall migrations are underway and there are fewer birds about, so I’ve leaned into photographing the robust wood duck population that’s still hanging around my usual marsh destination. I’ve discovered that around 5:30pm about a dozen of them gather in one sunny section of the marsh and bathe/splash about for about 10 minutes. After dunking themselves, they rise up out of the water, flapping their wings to dry off. It’s an impressive spectacle, and I’ve loved capturing it.

Fun facts:

• I have not turned on my television even once since returning from New Zealand in May. I’m not entirely sure why.
• I have bought a mini-waffle maker (this one, which has, incredibly, over 240,000 reviews on Amazon) and have discovered the yumminess that is a “chaffle”.
• Coca-cola has come out with an Oreo flavored coke and I’m a little obsessed with it. I try not to drink too much cola because of my bones, but now and then – yum (and Chloe, yes, I drink the zero sugar version).
• There is an outdoor concert venue not terribly far from the marsh I frequent, and the other night I heard music and wondered who was playing. Turns out it was Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, John Mellencamp, Alison Krauss, and Robert Plant. What a lineup, right? But I thought to myself, “Bob Dylan is still alive? He must be absolutely ancient!” So I looked up his age. Bob Dylan is 83. Willie Nelson is 91.
• If you think you’ll avoid the crowds by going to the laundromat when they open at 7am on Sunday morning, you will have woefully misjudged the situation
• There is a new book out by Richard Osman (of Thursday Murder Club fame) called “We Solve Murders” and I just might have to purchase it for reading on my upcoming trip to New Zealand, because I’m currently 120th in line for the library version.

I hope you have a wonderful week, my dears!

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Hello friends,

I’ve made a decision. No, I’m not quitting this blog. I’ve joined Instagram. I know, it was me who listed all the evils of social media in this post. And believe me, I went back and forth on this decision many times. What tipped me toward the “do it” side was the need to grow in my photography. My understanding of the craft is still nascent. And I could stay right here in this little comfort zone, posting my photos here and having my loved ones say, “I love your photos!” But I want to get better, and in order to do that I can’t hide myself away. I need to show my work to others and to learn from them. So, I started a new account on Instagram this week. Here is a link to it. I’m going to post one photo a day, many of which I’ve already posted on here, since I don’t create one share-worthy photo each day. There’s so much for me to learn, and it can be daunting in a way – but it’s also exciting to know that I have so much room for improvement and growth.

I spent some time in Massachusetts and Connecticut recently, connecting with family and getting a much needed break from work. Next month I’ll be spending a week in New Zealand. One week is a ridiculously short amount of time to spend in a destination approximately 9,000 miles away, but that’s all I have left of my paid time off this year. I’m making it easier on myself by not taking checked luggage. I am taking one carry-on bag, which will basically contain all of my camera gear, a stained-glass piece of art my sister made for me (for the new house), and some underwear. Priorities!

In my last post I spoke of struggling. I think I will always struggle through this life to a certain extent. I don’t find being human all that easy, but I work on it every single day. I try to find moments of beauty, of awe, of humor, of connection with other people and with my place in the natural world. I try to grow and learn, to get stronger in body, mind, and spirit. Let’s face it, life is an endurance sport. To quote Taylor Swift, “life is emotionally abusive.” You have to be strong to make it through. I’m hanging in there, and I hope you are too. Part of why I try to be honest about my struggles here is in case you are struggling too. To let you know you’re not alone.

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Hi friends,

Oof, I’m having a hard time of it at the moment. Nature helps. Exercise helps. Sticking to a healthy eating plan helps. Hydration helps. Let’s see, what else helps? Getting lost in a novel. Putting together a jigsaw puzzle. Trying to learn the steps to this dance. Stretching. FaceTiming with loved ones.

The bird in the top photo above is a double-crested cormorant. I saw it in a retention pond next to the parking lot of my gym one morning. I laughed because it seemed such an unlikely place to see one. The rest of the photos were taken yesterday morning and this morning in “my” marsh. It was a very quiet weekend at the marsh. I think migration has begun for a lot of species? Usually there are a ton of tree swallows, who have iridescent blue backs and heads, but yesterday there were no tree swallows and a gazillion barn swallows (dark brown head and back, light brown and buff chest). Both days there were large groups of immature cedar waxwings (6th photo from the top), when I usually see none whatsoever.

Next weekend I probably will not have time for a blog post, but I’ll be back the following weekend. Take care of yourselves!

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Hello friends,

I began this blog in February, 2020, just a few weeks before Covid hit North America and the world turned upside down. This is my 200th post. 200! I sort of can’t believe I’ve had quite this much to say, and truth be told many times along the way I felt like the well had run dry. I imagined you all saying, “We get it – you love nature! Enough already!”

I also turned 61 last week. On the day, I was feeling a bit lonely and burned out from work, so I didn’t appreciate it as much as I should have. But I am ever so grateful to still be here.

I want to thank all of you, dear friends and family, for following me from Facebook over to this blog. I also want to thank my biggest fan, Chris, for posting the link to Facebook every time I post here.

I’ve written and deleted about three posts’ worth of words over the last hour. I feel like the 200th post deserves something weighty, somehow. But nope. It’s not happening. Lol.

Have a great week!

Love,

Michelle xoxo

Hello friends,

I arrived at “my” marsh this morning around 6:30. There were already some cars in the parking lot – there are always a few people on the boardwalk around sunrise on the weekends as that’s the best time to possibly catch a glimpse of the beavers, and the birds are at their most active. Within a couple of hours the trail is packed with runners, cyclists, and walkers, but at sunrise there’s a hush over the marsh that feels sacred.

When I’m nearly alone in this place, it is so clear to me how small each of us is in relation to the natural world. Each of us is but one creature among countless others. Our needs are no more important than that of the wood duck or the green heron. Our presence on the planet is equally brief. To me, this knowledge is such a comfort.

As the trail fills up with more humans throughout the morning, the balance shifts. I hear snippets of conversations as they pass by. The marsh is just a pleasant place for most of them to exercise or visit with friends. I can feel the clarity of dawn becoming muddled with human concerns, human priorities, human importance.

I know that when I am at work this week, with the only evidence of the natural world being the occasional plant in a cubicle, in a place where petty dramas and kingdom building rule the day, I will lose a bit of my grasp on the feeling I had this morning at dawn. Against my better judgment I will start believing that these human-created scenarios and priorities are somehow worth my time and emotional response. Even when I tell myself I don’t care, I will feel my body respond to these situations – the anxiety will rise within me, unbidden. It’s insidious. And I say this as a person who, in general, feels pretty okay about my job. I don’t hate it. I don’t dread it. It’s not work per se, it’s the human condition. The more we try to improve upon things, the more we remove ourselves from our true place in the nature world, the more we treat things as important that really are not important, the more stress we create for ourselves.

I have no sweeping conclusion. I can’t tie this up with a tidy, poetic prescription for living. I only know that the more time I spend in nature, the better I feel.

Have a gentle week. Be kind to yourselves.

Love,

Michelle xoxo